HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
