Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
