WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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