And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
