She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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