Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize