He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
