Quick, to the slutcave!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
