i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize