Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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