Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
