Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
