i jhust puked up my retainher.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize