I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
