R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
