Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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