return my video game
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
