grandma shit on top of the toilet
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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