when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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