i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize