So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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