Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
