He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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