I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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