Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
