Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
