It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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