i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
