im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
