OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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