Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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