are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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