Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
