The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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