Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
