I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
