you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
