It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
