I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
