According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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