so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
