ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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