So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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