I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
