Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
