Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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