i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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