Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
