i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
