You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
