Someone shit on the floor
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
