'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
