just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
