you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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