Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize