do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
