She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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