Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
