google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize