id be glad to
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
